Today was a marathon mothering day.

I felt like a boss waking up early to do some weight lifting and was dressed and showered before the kids got up. Marc and I defused an oatmeal meltdown with some baby-flying-airplane bites for Ruby. (She actually likes oatmeal, but I think the fuss is more of a way to communicate her need for parental connection first thing in the morning… at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself this week).

I threw the three kids in the tub where they played with the their light up mermaid and tea sets while I read my Book of Mormon balanced on the dryer after switching the loads. (And my kids LOVE taking baths. Maybe it’s because we didn’t have a tub at our house the last three years, but if you even say “bath” around Levi he jolts for the bathroom and starts trying to strip down.) Then, my happy kids turned to crying kids after I got a few pages in and I wrested them out of the bath with minimal water on the floor.

A friend invited us to the zoo so everyone got dressed and hair done before we headed out with packed lunches and hydros in hand. I’ve made a new goal to really get dressed for the day- so I was feeling like a real winner, channeling my inner Jojo, in my jean jacket, fitted blue dress, black slip ons, braided hair and red lipstick. And that little win really adds a pep in my step that helps when I’m chasing kiddos around town.

The afternoon was when everyone took turns losing it.

First, there was this quarter sized spider in the girls room with thick ole’ hairy, gangly legs. Luckily I hunted him down and he dead now.

I made nice little snack plates for everyone to eat on the patio with cut strawberries, Nilla wafers and peanut butter to dip in. We were having this positive experience outside soaking in the vitamin D and I was helping Ruby read some Bob books when I looked over and Hazel is using her peanut but like hand cream on her hands and feet and was massaging it into the patio floor. What?! You should have seen the delight on her face as she squished it in all the tiny crevices on her hands. I ran inside to get the wipes and her art work had grown in size on the ground. I grabbed her hand to wipe her down and she instantly put her foot in the peanut butter and smeared it more. It was like whack-a-mole with toddlers and peanut butter. “Stop Hazel!” I cleaned one hand and she snuck her free hand in her plate to get more peanut butter paint to work with. I eventually pinned her down, cleaned her up, then closely supervised her clean the ground so the patio no longer resembled the inners of a sack lunch.

The rest of the afternoon had the usual ebb and flow of playing nicely and sibling squabbling. During a particular happy period of playing in their room, Ruby came to show me something she built. By the time we made it back Hazel had gone all Godzilla on Ruby’s pillow fortress and Ruby went ape crazy on Hazel: throwing a pillow on top of Hazel then pro-wrestling style jumped on Hazel’s face. Tears were shed.

Hazel came to cool off in the kitchen and got a drink then thought it would be hilarious to try to throw the water in her cup all over the kitchen floor. So per usual, I handed her the kitchen towel to clean up her mess. Little did I know, she danced on top of her rag avoiding her spills completely. Then in response to a blood curdling scream from their room I turned to run and slipped in her puddle and banged my arm on the corner of the counter causing an instant throbbing bruise. Awesome.

Between that drama, I made dinner and then had to change my very poopy little boy. Everyone needed some fresh air, so we all went out to throw away the stanky diaper. Our neighbors were out at the dog park so we stayed awhile. One of the dogs got a little territorial so I took that as a good sign to wrap it up and head in for dinner. Ruby made it perfectly clear that she “did NOT want to eat the noodles I made!” And that she was staying outside. So I took Hazel and Levi inside and got them situated with a bowl of pasta each, turned on Mozart’s Alla Turca in hopes of inspiring tranquility, and went out to fetch Ruby. In my absence, Ruby got nipped on her leg by the angry dog (but didn’t break the skin) and was headed back with our super apologetic neighbor.

Back inside Ruby’s smiles of bravery with the dog turned to tears. And while I was gone Hazel poured her full cup of water in her pasta bowl that was now drowning in watered down, soupy saucy noodles. Levi ate most of his bowl and was now trying to wear the rest of it. I just got my bowl and sat down and ate my noodles. Food helps me be a nice human.

Marc finally made it home! Yeah Marc! I got him settled with a bowl of dinner and said I just need five minutes to myself and went and got the mail all-by-my-self. Without children. With no one to touch me or ask ten questions.

Everyone was eventually feeling better and then there were more tears from the kids room, this time from Levi. I went to check and Ruby explained, with clenched fists, that she had wrapped her shoe lace around Levi’s throat. I picked up the boy and the rope then asked Marc to talk with her. And he did.

Marc could see I was spent and he was a real team player. He got the girls to clean their room and had story time. And before we had family prayer Marc explained that today was a hard day for me and then asked that everyone go around and say one thing they love about me. It was sweet. I especially loved when Levi came and gave me a big love.